Anyway, I have been filling my free time scouring Craigslist and similar rental websites; then driving around looking at possible places. So far, I've learned a lot from my search. For example, these landlords or people that write property descriptions either have the world's most vivid imaginations, are on drugs, or are just plain full of crap. This apartment pictured below was described as "sexy".
Maybe it's just me, but I don't see anything "sexy" about it. This leads me to the point of this post.
I want to present my guide to official "Los Angeles Landlord Speak". When it says:
Cozy = the place is tiny. There's a possibility you will have to sleep on bunk beds.
Remodeled = the place is ancient, and was dirty. But we slapped some paint on that baby, and poof! It's remodeled.
Up and Coming Area = only one to two drivebys per day.
Premier = you little people can't afford this.
A Real Steal = the former tenants may have died here.
Gorgeous, Beautiful, Amazing, Fabulous = these are all subjective words.
No credit checks = only three to five drivebys per day.
Safe Neighborhood = 'safe' is a subjective word.
Landlord on Premises = you aren't gonna get away with nothin'. Namely, sneaking your little dog named Emma in to live with you. Dammit.
No pictures, but a 'Must See!' = there's no apartment for rent. We actually operate a low-end prostitution ring. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
Oh, the joys of apartment hunting.
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3 thoughts:
This is hilarious and so very true! Good luck with finding a decent apt soon!
oh the all too familiar landlord speak. it's pretty much the same here in sb :) good luck w/ your search!
That's funny. My husband and I are searching as well, around the same area as you guys are too! Good luck to all of us :)
btw, glad I found your blog via Mrs Flamingo's. I really enjoyed your posts as Glitter. (I comment as mrspaetz on Weddingbee).
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