L has had to pull all-nighters for work lately. I feel really out of balance without him here. Somewhere in between my days of youth and independence and today, I sort of acquired a husband and became, how do I say this, needy...?
This is so laughable because I never needed anyone (except my mom, but that's different). Growing up I had my own room. I never shared a bed with anyone. I had my own personal space and I loved it. Being the only girl/daughter has its perks!
One of the biggest adjustments I thought I would have to make when I moved in with someone was having to share my bed. I could never wrap my head around getting good sleep with someone else's body so close to mine. "Excuse me? You want to share my blanket? Oh hell no."
But with L, even when we barely knew each other, and we started having sleepovers together in his little apartment it was the best sleep ever. Did I just admit we were doing sleepovers when we didn't really know each other? I married him, so moot point :)
When we were in a long distance relationship (which sucked major ass), and apart for years, I hated falling asleep alone. Sometimes I would call L, and force him to stay on the phone with me until I fell asleep. Yeah, I had it bad.
Now he's my security blanket. When we are away from each other, I don't get good sleep. He's told me that he doesn't get good sleep either when we are apart. But I'm skeptical. We're talking about a man who slept on the floor of a closet in a suite at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. I doubt he needs me to get good rest.
I don't know what it is. He doesn't even necessarily have to be in our bed. Sometimes if I'm in bed early, and he wants to watch TV late or needs to work late, he will sleep on the couch. I guess I just like knowing he's an arm's length away.
I'm a strange lady who needs her husband to be there so she can fall asleep. Sometimes I look at myself and think, "Who are you?"