3 August 2010

A Funny Aside: Anxiety Part II

After I wrote my post about anxiety, I noticed that I lost four or five blog subscribers. Sad, but not a huge deal. The first thing that popped into my mind was, "I hope they didn't leave because they think I'm crazy." Then I thought of the story I'm about to tell, and had to laugh to myself...

I went to my doctor's office twice last week. The first visit was what I briefly touched on in my anxiety post. My heart was beating fast, and my doctor wanted to rule out every physical possibility, so I got an EKG and had my blood drawn. Staying true to my hypochondriac nature, my brain was Dr. Google on crack, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack or stroke out on the doctor's table.

When you have anxiety, you allow fear to rule your existence. What is one of the biggest fears in life? Well, dying, of course. What is the second biggest fear? Deadly diseases, maybe? Since my cancer scare last year, my mind equates the doctor's office with cancer. So immediately after my blood was drawn, I started wondering if they would find some abnormality. My doctor had a hunch it was my thyroid acting up. She told me to go home and rest, and that she would get my blood workup results the next morning. She would call me if anything didn't look right.

I went home, and got a good night's rest.

Sure enough, the next morning, I was getting ready and my phone rang. It was my doctor's office.

Of course I missed the call and it rolled to voicemail. I checked my vmail and listened to the cryptic message. It sounded like, "blah blah...the doctor wants you to come in and go over your blood results TODAY...blah blah blah."

HOLY SHIT.

I'm dead.

I called them back immediately. Of course, my doctor was with another patient and couldn't be reached, so I scheduled an appointment to come in immediately.

I hung up the phone, and nearly crapped in my pants. I felt like Samantha in Sex and the City when the health care worker takes her into "the little room" after her HIV test and she passes out because she thinks that means she's HIV positive.

To make a long story short(er), I raced down to my doctor's office (which is about thirty minutes away) and waited in the exam room for what felt like an hour. When my doctor arrived with my paperwork, I braced myself.

She inched closer to me, and told me that my blood work looked fine.

EH?

It turns out my thyroid was actually okay. She wanted to talk to me in person, because diagnosing anxiety over the phone doesn't translate well. Good thinking, Dr. T. We discussed my treatment options, and then she sent me on my way.

I had brought my mom with me again, because if it was bad news, I couldn't stand to face it all alone. (L was already at work, and we agreed it would be better for him to stay there.)

As we walked out into the lobby and made our way to the elevator, I looked at my mom and exclaimed, "I'm not dying! I'm just CRAZY."

We both got a little teary-eyed and laughed ourselves silly.


So if you quit reading my blog because you think I'm crazy*, you may be valid in your assessment. And if you read my blog because crazy doesn't bother you, you are in the right spot :)

*The word "crazy" is meant in the most inoffensive manner possible.

18 comments:

  1. What??? You lost subscribers after that post? It has to be pure coincidence, because I honestly can't imagine why anyone would unsubscribe because of that!

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  2. If people were lame-o enough to unsubscribe after your last post well, too bad for them. I don't comment often (as I usually read my blogs through G-reader on my phone) but I just wanted to say that I think you're awesome and funny and if I knew you in real life I'd love to be your friend.

    And hey, we all got a little crazy in us. It makes life fun. :)

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  3. Darling, I'll read no matter what! I can imagine that it must have felt good to NOT have it be something else. You and your mom are too cute :)

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  4. Meh we all have issues! What's important is that you figure out what is happening with your health and take steps to remedy it- which you're doing, so kudos!

    And how awesome are moms :)

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  5. It doesn't make any sense that people stopped following you because of your post. No sense at all.

    As far as anxiety goes, you are not crazy. As someone who struggles with anxiety often, I understand what it's like. I'm glad there isn't anything life-threatening going on!

    <3

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  6. I find it odd that someone would quit your blog because you admitted that you have a condition that is very common in our society. Please don't think of it as being about you. You are fabulous. As a society, we have a very hard time with dealing with these types of issues in the open. Thank you for being brave enough to share your life with us.

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  7. I find it surprising that people would unsubscribe after that brave, honest post! Their loss. I'm so glad I found your blog, I love reading all your posts!

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  8. I'm so glad it wasn't life-threatening and that you had your Mom with you!
    I concur with the rest of the girls, it has to be a coincidence that 4 or 5 people unsubscribed, how could they unsubscribe after your honest and thoughtful post? And if they did unsubscribe because of it, then good riddance!

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  9. Yeah for everything being ok and starting to find some treatment!

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  10. Hi, i've been reading your blog for awhile now but wanted to subscribe to support you and your journey.

    thanks for sharing yourself with us readers.

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  11. I kind of giggle thinking you lost readers simply because of your last post on anxiety. I have a hard time believing that!

    Thank you for sharing your journey candidly. I've always loved following you, crazypants or not. :)

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  12. you are not crazy - that is ridiculous. I also think it's absolute crap that people left because you have anxiety.. give me a break. I read your blog because i like it

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  13. Does it mean we have cooties because we have anxiety issues...those readers are not true followers if thats the reason they left. OH well life goes on and you have the rest of us to share funnies with.
    oh honey and don't feel bad because I'm a total hypochondiac and its from my anxiety which all started after my dad passed at the age 47. Ever since then every ache and pain has to be something terrible and I swear I would have reacted just like you did with your results!
    I'm telling you its sux to have anxiety but good to know that I'm not "crazy" and its a legitimate medical condition.
    {{HUGS}}

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  14. Well ... I agree with everyone else: it was probably a coincidence, but if they left because you have anxiety, they're going to spend most of their lives with their heads in the ground (like an ostrich) avoiding what's all around them.

    And I wouldn't worry about "being crazy". I'll join you there :)

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  15. Your honesty rocks. Really. I think we all have a little crazy in us somewhere just trying to come out. It's ok to let it out when you need to, and that was definitely one of those occasions.

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  16. Have to share -
    I remember anxiety all too well. I was really anxious for EVERYTHING and often wondered if I was going crazy.
    Honestly, it was my hormones. Since I've recovered from having my ovary removed, it's like a veil has been lifted- and it can't just be the cancer scare is gone. More about it on my blog.

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  17. i'm glad to hear your news was not life threatening and that you had your mom along :)

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  18. Aww, you all are too kind :) I constantly strive to be honest with myself and those around me. It doesn't get any easier...but it helps to read all of your encouraging comments! At times I am laying it all out there, and I totally get that some people might be turned off by that. It's all good! :)

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