6 December 2011

PMS City, man.

The menstrual gods have it out for me this month. I'm two days late. No, I'm not pregnant. I had a run-in with clomid earlier this month, and apparently it can cause your cycles to become abnormally long. If you're lucky, I won't tell you that story.

So now I'm stuck in period limbo, and my PMS is raging like I'm a greasy faced 8th grader with an unpredictable cycle.

Evidence of my PMS:

I had an appointment with my acupuncturist whom I normally love to pieces. He usually says all the right things, and generally makes me feel relaxed and supported.  Today, we were chatting it up as usual. I confessed that I was frustrated by the delay in my period, and he explained to me about how clomid can mess with my cycle. I was sort of relieved to hear that, because I was starting to wonder what the deal was. As I started to express my relief in words, he cut me off and said to me, "Just be patient. Why are you getting so worked up? Patience is a virtue."

OH HELL NO.

I felt my face heat up, and my ears get hot. I explained to him in my best Asian "I'm nice" girl manner how I've tried to be very patient. It's been two years. I'm running low on patience. He laughed, then I sorta politely snorted in return. But what I really wanted to do was kick his front teeth in.

I know he meant well, but in that moment, I felt PMS rage. I didn't want to be lectured about being patient about my period, especially from a man. For some reason, that mattered to me.

Also, I need to write a book about the conversations I eavesdrop on while waiting to see my acupuncturist. The walls are thin, and I have nothing better to do. Funny shit. I'm sure somewhere out there, a woman is sitting at home writing in her blog or telling her husband about the hilariously possessed PMS woman at acupuncture in the room next to her.

9 comments:

  1. OMG. I probably would have just started crying. That seems to be all I can do when I am PMSing. Ugh. Men need to learn that sometimes it's best to just keep your mouth shut.

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  2. OMG. The pain of waiting for a late period. Frustration. OH HELLLL NO.

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  3. Okay, seriously, PMS or not, you do NOT tell someone undergoing the crap you are to be patient and patience is a virtue. No matter HOW much you like him, that's just not cool!

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  4. From what i've heard, the whole "be patient" card is not one you want to say to someone, especially when you don't have any idea how each day, week can feel like years when you are waiting to test, to ovulate, to menstruate etc... not cool. i think maybe you could have taught him a lesson that some of his other patients would have appreciated as well. Bravo to you for staying PATIENT and not kicking in his front teeth!

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  5. I think you handled that like a champ...I probably would have flipped out even without PMS!

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  6. Hahahaha! Thanks for your understanding, friends. He definitely had an 'open mouth, insert foot' moment. Thinking back, he's had a few of those. Once I was wearing a shirt that said "Obey" on it (the clothing company is called Obey, http://obeyclothing.com/). He told me he wishes his wife would obey more, and he needs to get a shirt for her.

    Say what?!

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  7. I would have started crying right then and there. I, too, tend to put on the "I'm a good Asian girl" front when stupid people say stupid things to me. Sometimes I wish I could say all the things I want to say at the moment I want to say it.

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