21 February 2012

The Opposite of Positive

Thank you to each and every person who has commented, emailed, or silently sent us good thoughts for our IUI. Sadly, the IUI was not successful which was 100% confirmed by my period four days before I even had a chance to pee on a stupid stick. 


When we were first told we might have trouble getting pregnant, I wasn't that upset. In retrospect, I realize I reacted that way, because I had no concept of how arduous, painful, and frustrating this process would actually be. I was still in a semi-positive state of mind where I believed my gyno when she said post-surgery, "You're gonna get pregnant right away!" 


After 2+ years of varying levels of trying, and almost one year since my surgery, the reality has finally sunk in. This might not happen for us; and that is the scariest thing I have had to admit to myself thus far on this journey. It doesn't mean I'm throwing the towel in, although our finances are thinning. It doesn't mean hope is lost. I'll always have hope. It just means that I am coming to grips with the dark abyss that is long term infertility.


Thank you again to everyone that kept us in your thoughts. Even though we didn't get the results we had hoped for, we are so grateful for the love that surrounds us.



19 comments:

  1. Oh Carly I'm so sorry. I had you in my thoughts and was waiting for a post with happy news. I will say that you are an amazing person and are incredible for sharing this painful journey. Please know I'm always here for a "this blows" conversation.

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  2. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Carly!! I'm so sorry you are going through such an emotionally trying experience :(

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  3. I'm so sorry. I am thinking of you during this time and praying for bright moments ahead.

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  4. I am so sorry. I had been thinking about you and wondering what the news was. Take care of yourself and don't keep things in, its not good for you in the long run. Sending big hugs and hopes for a better journey on the next go-round. xx

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  5. I'm so sorry, my friend. I am always thinking of you and this journey. I hope for more hope...

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  6. I'm sorry your having to go through this process. Change is always scary, and moarning changes is COMPLETELY natural. I hope all that are around you can truly comfort you during this frightening time. After my surgery, they thought I'd get preggers right away as well. They "saw no reason why I couldn't". Though I haven't shared too much on this topic on my blog, My Sailor and I will be starting the adoption process next year. I know it's not what he had planned - and ya never know. Our bodies do crazy things and may still change their minds, but for now... I hope you feel comfortable reaching out for some help if you ever need it as you go through this stressful process. All things in life are temporary, and though it doesn't seem like it now, someday, this time too will be a distant memory.

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  7. Sorry to hear. Please keep positive and remember that you and your husband are very strong together and it will take a lot more to bring you guys down. I hope this doesn't deter you to try again! =) Sending you lots of hugs, hope and faith.

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  8. i feel i have no soothing words for you other than i am so sorry. you have been a brave, confidant woman through this [the very fact that you are able to expose such a very personal and traumatic part of your life is proof of both] and it pains me to know that you aren't getting your desired hopes. i will keep my fingers crossed for you- i hope everything works out.

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  9. i don't think there's much i can say....but i'm glad you have this outlet to share, and i'm sure inspire so many others. i totally appreciate how you are raw when you feel like, and other times just don't talk about what you want to keep private.

    but from what i gather... you are stronger than you know! :) positive energy and thoughts will ALWAYS help you through the rough spots. grateful that you have such a supportive husband by your side.

    take care of yourself and eat sushi, since you can :)

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear. I've been a somewhat long time reader but haven't really had a chance to post. My husband and I are starting a similar journey of fertility treatments. We have yet to kick off the Clomid stage of the journey, but we know that there could possibly be a long road ahead of us. Positive energy and thoughts to you!

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  11. Just continue taking great care of yourself. You never know if oneday you'll get the joy of your life. Life is so unpredictable for each and every one of us. Just stay in a positive frame of because without happiness and peace what is life worth? xoxo

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  12. I'm really sorry to hear the news - I had my fingers crossed for you, and will continue to keep them crossed as you move forward with whatever comes next in the journey.

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  13. I am so so sorry. Many hugs and thoughts coming your way.

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  14. Oh Carly, i've been meaning to write you for a while though didn't quite know how to put the words together. I can only imagine what you are going through (my best friend went through something similar for about 4 years and i can tell you over e-mail). Smile when you can, cry if you want to, and hug your loved ones!

    xoxo,
    Chic 'n Cheap Living

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