Well, guys, we did it. After four botched cycles, we actually completed our first IUI! We are currently starting the infamous two week wait.
I have been silent about all of this, mostly because I've been nervous as hell that something would go wrong, and the cycle would be cancelled...yet again. I have also been going through a series of emotional ups and downs, and have not really felt much like sharing.
I have been on fertility injections (because Clomid was a bust) since Day 3 (Day 1 = first day of your period) to make my eggies grow. I learned that giving myself injections is something I am not interested in doing. This was a surprise, because I'm usually pretty nonchalant when it comes to needles. Turns out I'm a little baby chicken, so L gave them to me. Major husband points scored there. I learned that a bloated, bruised tummy is something that comes along with the meds, and I've just got to suck it up. I learned to keep my cool when my doctor prescribed me "vaginal suppositories" for the next couple of weeks. Guess we can count a "sexy" Valentine's Day out this year, huh?
This is all part of the game, and we've finally made it past the first quarter. Shit, we've somehow catapulted ourselves into the fourth quarter. How we do dat?
I still can't believe our turn finally came around.
To be honest, this cycle of medication for the IUI was a lot more involved (and pricey) than I imagined. The nightly shots coupled with the side effects of the medication were a daily reminder of how much science and medicine are taking over what is supposed to be a natural part of life. L and I were talking the other night, and we agreed that this process feels odd to us. We feel like we are both a bit distanced from it. The drugs are doing their thing, and we are hovering overhead watching from the other side of the ultrasound machine. Except, my body is being used as the home base for this experiment, so I am tangentially involved in that I get to be a pin cushion, and feel all the shitty side effects.
I don't know what to make of it at this point. I am still taking it one day at a time. I know this two week wait is going to drag. I just want to rest and feel like myself again. I want to nourish my body, and praise it for the miracle that it is. Thank you, body, for giving me the chance to participate in this crazy science experiment!
We've given conception and pregnancy the best chances we can possibly give them at this time. However, despite all that the medical world provides, L's sperm still has to find my egg, and together they still have to decide if this is going to work or not. Nature gets the final say.
And now, we wait...