12 July 2012

Where I'm At.

There is so much I want to write about, but I just don't have the patience and strength to get on the emotional roller coaster right now. I don't feel settled or stable. I feel like I am grasping at straws. I keep trying to find my footing. But, everything is moving fast, and I can't right now. I just have to give in, and let the tide take me where it will. This post is ridiculously cryptic, I know. I apologize. Maybe someday soon I will be able to put into words what is going on. But, for now, I give you this pile of nonsensical bullshit.

I am trying my best to remain calm and positive. But when you are prone to fits of anxiety, being calm and/or positive is a tall order. Anxiety sucks. I remember the days when I could breathe without thinking; when I could function without consciously telling myself to slow down and take deep breaths. I find myself longing for the security of those easy days again.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Why? Because there has to be.

That is where I'm at.

In other news, this song by Sara Bareilles is so beautiful. I can't stop listening to it.


  1. Oh sweetie. I don't know what's going on but I really hope you get through this soon. I'm so sorry. I can definitely relate to the horror that is anxiety. I miss talking to you! Hang in there.

  2. Hope that light at the end keeps getting brighter ... thinking of you always Carly!

  3. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. :-( Im not really on here much anymore, but I decided to check in on your blog tonight to see what was going on with you. Sounds like things are really rough. hang in there!

  4. It has been way too long Carly. I don't know what to say but you continue to find beauty around you (the song is gorgeous too!)

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  5. @Rebecca: Love you and miss you, friend. I know you understand. xo

    @Colleen: I'm hormonal, and your comment made me all teary! <3

    @honey my heart: Thank you, J. xoxo

    @Cheap Wife: Thanks for checking in, old friend! I've missed your posts!

    @Chic 'n Cheap Living: I know! Way too long. :( I hope you are doing well, hon. xoxo

  6. Reaching through my computer to give you a big hug and a bottle of wine!!!

  7. I do not know what is going on but I'm sending hugs your way

  8. There is a light at the end, I am certain of it! Continuing to send you big hugs and prayers. Also that song? SO beautiful, it makes me all teary eyed. <3

  9. Keep on pushin' on :) (I think that was a song or something but I saw it fit here) Life is tough, all you can do is focus on where you're going.



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