12 July 2012

Where I'm At.

There is so much I want to write about, but I just don't have the patience and strength to get on the emotional roller coaster right now. I don't feel settled or stable. I feel like I am grasping at straws. I keep trying to find my footing. But, everything is moving fast, and I can't right now. I just have to give in, and let the tide take me where it will. This post is ridiculously cryptic, I know. I apologize. Maybe someday soon I will be able to put into words what is going on. But, for now, I give you this pile of nonsensical bullshit.

I am trying my best to remain calm and positive. But when you are prone to fits of anxiety, being calm and/or positive is a tall order. Anxiety sucks. I remember the days when I could breathe without thinking; when I could function without consciously telling myself to slow down and take deep breaths. I find myself longing for the security of those easy days again.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Why? Because there has to be.

That is where I'm at.

In other news, this song by Sara Bareilles is so beautiful. I can't stop listening to it.



10 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie. I don't know what's going on but I really hope you get through this soon. I'm so sorry. I can definitely relate to the horror that is anxiety. I miss talking to you! Hang in there.

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  2. Hope that light at the end keeps getting brighter ... thinking of you always Carly!

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  3. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. :-( Im not really on here much anymore, but I decided to check in on your blog tonight to see what was going on with you. Sounds like things are really rough. hang in there!

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  4. It has been way too long Carly. I don't know what to say but you continue to find beauty around you (the song is gorgeous too!)

    xoxo,
    Chic 'n Cheap Living

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  5. @Rebecca: Love you and miss you, friend. I know you understand. xo

    @Colleen: I'm hormonal, and your comment made me all teary! <3

    @honey my heart: Thank you, J. xoxo

    @Cheap Wife: Thanks for checking in, old friend! I've missed your posts!

    @Chic 'n Cheap Living: I know! Way too long. :( I hope you are doing well, hon. xoxo

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  6. Reaching through my computer to give you a big hug and a bottle of wine!!!

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  7. I do not know what is going on but I'm sending hugs your way

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  8. There is a light at the end, I am certain of it! Continuing to send you big hugs and prayers. Also that song? SO beautiful, it makes me all teary eyed. <3

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  9. Keep on pushin' on :) (I think that was a song or something but I saw it fit here) Life is tough, all you can do is focus on where you're going.

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