I was pondering this thought last night as I soaked in the bath reading Prevention Magazine. I love Prevention Magazine, but sometimes it reads like "5,000 ways to make over your life while simultaneously driving yourself completely insane." Eat strawberries this way, but never eat them that way. 120 ways to do squats. 531 ways to tie a ponytail. AHHHHHHHHH.
One of my New Year's resolutions/vows to myself/long term goals is to simplify my life. A couple of posts back I talked about the concept of self-care. I want to talk about this more right now and also in future posts. I am finding that while I think it is important to continually work on self-improvement, it is equally important to know when to give it a rest; and how to find that balance. Often times, my mind is like a hamster wheel spinning round and round. I have a spare five minutes; how can I fill it? Find my purpose. Find my calling. Am I happy? How's my marriage? Do I have enough friends? Am I getting enough sleep? Why don't I volunteer more? What did I eat today? Should I be working out more? Am I smart enough? Am I strong enough? Am I nice enough? Or maybe I'm too nice? The list goes on and on. Basically, a lot of first world problems! Hahaha!
I can't help but wonder if this frame of mind is some sort of over-compensation for the lack of control I have in other areas of my life. But I feel like I am surrounded by voices telling me in some way, shape, or form that I'm not good enough. All of this talk about what more we could be doing with our lives tends to take the focus off of how far we have already come, and also takes away our power as individuals to decide for ourselves what is "best" for us. We don't even have to think about what we want, because everyone and everything around us is telling us what we should want. Instead of celebrating how worthy and fabulous we are as people/women/spouses/friends/etc. we keep filling our heads each day with these voices of inadequacy. I feel like part of simplifying my life involves quieting this noise. Bringing it down a couple of notches, if you will. I recently unsubscribed from a really popular "mommy blog" because the insistence on perfection was just too much. I found myself rolling my eyes more than I was actually feeling happy for this woman and what she contributes to the world, and my life, for that matter. Unsubscribe. One less voice in the sea.
Maybe I'm over-analyzing? I don't know. I often find myself battling with issues of identity as well as this notion of "being an adult" and what I "should" be doing at any given moment of the day. But every now and then, I need to remind myself that I am generally doing okay as I am. Sit down. Relax. Quiet the voices of inadequacy. I'll be fine if I didn't eat twelve pounds of quinoa today. Breathe.