8 May 2013

32.

So I got lost in the abyss of a Lupron-induced hallucination, and when I regained consciousness, I realized I was due for another birthday. Damn.

On Monday, I {quietly...shhhh} turned 32.


This video basically explains 32. 

For some unknown reason, I was really excited to turn 31. I wasn't a fan of 30, but 31...oh yeah...I was all about 31. I have no idea what my thirty second year has in store for me. I am kinda terrified while simultaneously feeling very excited.

It gets on my nerves when people try to tell others how to age. Whether we age gracefully or we act like blubbering babies at the arrival of yet another birthday, isn't it our right to act however the hell we want? As long as we aren't hurting anyone, who cares? I have found that I often have a wide range of emotions around my birthday. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes sad, sometimes grateful, sometimes depressed. I try not to get too down on myself when I feel anything less than elated about getting older.

We all know society is obsessed with youth and being young. Everything is so youth-driven. So, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that some of us are confused and scared at the thought of getting older and fading from society's focus. For me, it isn't so much about becoming obsolete, but the simple fact that if I am getting older, everyone else around me is getting older, too. It is difficult to think about my parents and my grandparents aging. I was just telling my mom the other day that, in my mind, my grandparents are in their 60's, and she and my dad are in their 40's. I think of my little brothers as just kids. I know we are all getting older (I'm not delusional) but I kinda wish I could freeze time and keep all my loved ones healthy, vibrant, and happy. An impossible task.

There is so much beauty that comes with aging. I know that much. I am grateful for every single year even if some are harder to appreciate than others. Life is absolutely what we make of it.

In other news, I got a packet in the mail about my ten year college reunion. As much as I loved my college years, I am not ready for that. I may never be ready for that.

This is 32, friends.



 {Photos taken on a recent trip in honor of said birthday.}

6 comments:

  1. Happy Belated Birthday!!!

    32 looks great on you!! :)

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  2. I can completely relate to this: "I was just telling my mom the other day that, in my mind, my grandparents are in their 60's, and she and my dad are in their 40's. I think of my little brothers as just kids. I know we are all getting older (I'm not delusional) but I kinda wish I could freeze time and keep all my loved ones healthy, vibrant, and happy. An impossible task." Especially right now. It's crazy to think of my mom as a widow and my brother as just a hop skip and a jump away from 40! My husband turns 30 this year (though he'll be deployed for it) and I can see him changing and his wheels turning about it too.

    I'm a year a head of you (33), but ya know, I'm not sure what I can say about 32. Lots of transition (isn't that how life always is though?) and some stabilization in some ways. Lots of adventures and changing expectations... Oh, and we got another dog...

    I feel pretty firmly embedded in my "mid-30's" now. It's funny that I think of folks in their early 20's as, well, kids! Good lord we're getting old. ;) lol

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  3. Happy Belated!!! I just got my 10 year high school letter. I"m NOT ready either. haha I agree with you.. America is focus on young, thin, and beauty. Vastly different from other societies say in Asia that love the old :) I hope 32 is YOUR YEAR

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  4. Well you look amazing for one and for two I agree that everyone ages different and people need to stop with the campaigns of meanness!

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  5. You are beautiful, 32 looks great on you. 8)

    I get sad when people say birthdays are just another day. For me, birthdays should be amazing and made a big deal out of. & I hate how people keep telling me "you're getting older, you won't care about your birthday soon." & I intend to prove every single one of those negative people wrong! 8)

    ReplyDelete

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