Yesterday was a challenging day. K was testing my patience so much. This makes it difficult when we are both a little jet lagged, a little edgy, and not in the mood. This girl can be fierce. She has been doing this thing lately where she purposely pushes her water cup over and watches the liquid go all over the table. I have been cleaning it up, but letting her know this behavior is not okay. I try not to lose my cool, because I don't want her to feel shame if she accidentally spills something. Spills happen. Except this time she pushed over a glass of orange juice because I took the iPad away from her. The juice went everywhere. OJ is not water. It's sticky and a pain to clean up. Some toys and some papers got soaked. Luckily, no electronics or valuables.
I was stern with her and she started sobbing. While I could have been a little more controlled in my response, I was angry. I didn't feel super bad about losing my temper, because she needs to learn. She spent several minutes sobbing on the couch and calling out for her daddy. Then it got quieter and quieter. Normally, I would have gone to her almost immediately and made sure she was okay. But something told me that she needed space. She needed to get it all out and cry and be upset. I crept over to the couch and found her asleep next to our dog, Henry. Did I mention she was exhausted?
These are the days of motherhood. They aren't always pretty with smiling faces and laughter, as every parent knows. But, there is a certain beauty in the challenges. I grew up in a house where spills weren't a big deal. We didn't have to be neat and clean all the time. However, it was a disciplined house, and we always knew where we stood. We knew where the line was and made sure not to cross it too much. My little girl is crossing a lot of lines lately. I am trying to be patient with her, and remember that sleep and food are two main factors that really affect a toddler's moods! But, I'm only human, and man, she's testing me at every turn. My hope is that I can somehow find more ways to discipline with love and respect. I know I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.